Everyone has heard the statistic: fifty per cent of marriages end in divorce; although this statistic isn’t entirely accurate, divorce rates continue to hold steady. While divorce is often the best option for a lot of couples, when children are involved, things begin to get a little more complicated. Kids often feel like it is their fault, and they really take it to heart. Obviously, each case is different, but generally, there are a few things that you can do to make sure that your children’s emotional well-being is cared for; keep reading to find out more.
Prioritise Their Safety
Unfortunately, not all divorces are amicable. Sometimes, in order to keep your children safe, you need to protect them from your ex. If you are concerned for your or your children’s safety, then you need to be prepared to take every precaution. This could even mean looking into non-molestation orders from National Legal Service Solicitors or getting legal advice to block your ex from seeing you or the children.
The best thing that you can do for your children during a divorce is to be present for them. Often a divorce can really disrupt your children’s routines and, in general, instil them with a sense of unrest. Making sure that your children know that you are still there for them, whether you are going to be their primary caregiver or not, is important in helping to dispel their fears and make them feel more secure.
Don’t Fight in Front of the Kids
If the divorce is particularly acrimonious, then it can be really tempting to make digs at each other in front of the children because that will likely be the extent of your interactions. Some parents even use their children as a go-between to send messages on their behalf. However, you need to make an effort to get along with your ex for the sake of the children because they pick up on any and all hostility between you.
Develop a Routine
Children benefit from routines; it helps to ensure that they feel safe, secure and relaxed because they know what to expect. Obviously, divorce represents a lot of unrest; however, you should still do your best to come up with a routine that your children can come to rely on when they are feeling anxious. Work out where the children will be on what days and do your best to stick to it.
Put the Kids First
After a divorce, it can be really easy to find yourself trying to point score with your ex and trying to pick them up on every little thing. But the happiness of the kids should always come first. Do your best to dismiss your negative feelings and remember to always put the kids first. Some parents refuse to even be in the same room, but this doesn’t benefit the children in any way. You are tied together for the rest of your lives by the kids, so get over it.
Truthfully, one of the best things that you can do for your children when you are in the midst of a divorce is simply to reassure your children. Make sure that they know that it isn’t their fault and that the divorce won’t change anything when it comes to them. They are still loved by both parents. Children are aware of everything around them, and they will imitate what they see, so make sure that they don’t see anything negative.